Potty Training without the Stress: Expert Tips for Families

Potty training is one of those milestones that can bring equal parts excitement and anxiety. Every child is different, every family is different and the process rarely goes exactly as planned. Dr. Colby Butzon, a behavioral health consultant at Le Bonheur Pediatrics, helps families navigate this journey with less stress and more confidence. Here, she shares her expert advice.

When to Reach Out for Help

Many parents are not sure when (or even whether) to seek outside support for potty training. Dr. Butzon's answer is refreshingly simple: any time.

"If any parent is not sure if their child is ready to start potty training, that could be a good thing to discuss with the pediatrician or with the behavioral health consultant in the pediatrician's office," she encourages. And, if things are not going smoothly once training has begun, that is equally valid grounds for reaching out.

Starting with the Full Picture

When a family comes to Dr. Butzon, she does not jump straight to solutions. Rather, she starts by gathering context: what the child has already tried, what challenges have come up and what else might be going on in the family's life. A new sibling, a change in routine or a developmental shift can all influence the process in ways that are easy to overlook.

"I always want to start off by getting a lot of information about the context of the child, the family, the child's developmental milestones," she explains. “Then, I can help come up with a plan together with the family."

The Emotional Side of Potty Training

It is easy to underestimate how emotionally charged potty training can be, for both children and parents. Comparison to peers, pressure from family members and the fear of falling behind can all take a toll. Dr. Butzon emphasizes the importance of parents staying regulated themselves.

"The parent is recognizing their child's emotions and they're keeping their own emotions in check, so that they're not letting their reaction come into play when their child has a miss,” she notes.

Above all, shame and punishment have no place in the process. Positive reinforcement — praise, high fives, stickers — goes much further. "Every time they sit on the potty, they get a sticker," she offers as an example. "And, if they actually use the potty, maybe they get two stickers."

Progress, she reminds parents, includes a child simply becoming more aware of their own body; not just successfully using the toilet every time.

Handling Regression

Regression is common and does not mean the process has failed. Dr. Butzon often recommends pausing training temporarily and returning to diapers to reduce pressure while everyone resets. However, if regression is sudden or accompanied by pain, excessive thirst, constipation or unexplained nighttime accidents, she advises looping in the child's pediatrician to rule out any underlying medical factors.

What Every Parent Should Know

Dr. Butzon's most reassuring message is one she wants every parent to hear: "Children will become potty trained. They may not become potty trained on the parents' timeline, but they will eventually become potty trained."

The right approach, she advises, is simply the one that works for your child. Not the one that worked for a friend's child or the one endorsed by a particular book.

And if things feel overwhelming? That is exactly what behavioral health consultants are there for. "If a parent has concerns or questions or needs support, that could be a really good time to reach out," she urges. Le Bonheur Pediatrics has behavioral health consultants at all of its locations.